Welcome, from one frazzled cook to the next

Dispatches from my small but busy east London kitchen, and what this newsletter is all about...

Photo by Lizzie Mayson. Note: I haven’t looked this put together in some time

Hiya. Thanks for stopping by. Are you hungry? Me too. But before we get started, here’s how I ended up here.

I realised I’d forgotten who I was when my son was three months old. The first twelve weeks had passed in a hazy, sleep-deprived, loved-up blur. My days – which were, until my maternity leave started a few months earlier, spent editing a food magazine, writing recipes, and interviewing chefs and producers – were now taken over by a never-ending cycle of feeding and nappy changes. I was besotted with this new baby I’d somehow managed to grow and give birth to, but at the same time, my life before he arrived felt increasingly distant.

Sitting in the pub with my husband, my son napping in our arms, I said tearfully, “I just don’t know who I am, or what I want to do any more”. I realised as the words came out that this was why I’d been feeling so lost, irritable and frustrated lately. Things that once defined me – my passion for writing and cooking, and just being pretty obsessed with food – had retreated into the shadows while I focussed on the job of raising a small human (a job that that I realise – to caveat – I’m incredibly fortunate to have).

Among all of this, dinners still had to be eaten. The moments I found to cook felt like getting back to my old self. The reassuring weight of a knife in my hand chopping an onion, or the familiar clatter of a wooden spoon against the edge of a pan were like coming home. What’s more, constraints on my time and energy meant I needed to get creative with techniques and try out different recipes. I added new dishes to my repertoire that delivered on flavour but not on fuss.

When I was pregnant, someone told me that when you have a baby, your world becomes very small. This newsletter is, then, dispatches from my very small world. It won’t contain fancy restaurant reviews or obscure ingredient lists. The photographs – unlike the glossy magazine images I’m used to creating at work with the help of a team of talented stylists and photographers – are taken in my small kitchen at our two-bedroom flat in Forest Gate, east London.

Heavily pregnant and about to stuff my face with penne alla vodka

I hope the recipes will be delicious, but created with real life in mind. Even without the added financial pressure of being on maternity leave, the food shop is increasingly expensive, which is part of the reason my dishes are mostly vegetarian (reader, I also married a veggie), and why I’ll always try to offer suggestions for ingredient swaps and substitutions.

I’m very into carbs

I’ll share a recipe each week, inspired by the seasons, what I’ve got in the fridge and what I’ve had time to cobble together. I’ll also include tips, tricks, recommendations and knowledge based on my experience as a food editor and my (limited) experience as a mum. While I’ve worked in the food industry for ten years, I’m by no means an influencer with a massive social media following, so I’ll start by sharing this with my friends, colleagues and the incredible, supportive network of fellow parents I’ve been so lucky to meet in my little corner of east London. Who knows – someone might even read it!

My kitchen (told you it was small)

I’m hoping that writing this will help me, if not get back to who I was before, carve out a new version of myself in the here and now. Whether you’re also navigating life as a new parent, or just want quick, easy and affordable dinner ideas, I hope the recipes are useful, and that perhaps the stories will resonate. So let’s eat.

PS I also love salads

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